How I stuck my foot in it!

In typical Sagittarian fashion, I managed to embarass my boyfriend in front of his relatively new colleagues and his boss to boot. Not embarass in the sense that I made him feel any less intelligent or that I poked fun at his new haircut or something he said. No, it was far, far worse than that. Im still kicking myself over this, however, due to the opinions of two of my friends as well as that of my mother on the seriousness of my blunder, I've allowed myself to have a little laugh about it on those occassions when I'm feeling lighthearted and have grown tired of beating myself up about it.

Boyfriend and I had been invited to the housewarming party of one of his colleagues about two weeks ago. We'd known about this party for about two weeks in advance and to be honest, I wasnt sure I even wanted to go as I wouldnt know anyone there. But since Ive been trying to make an effort to be more sociable these days, I said Id go. Ill tell you though, that what really made up my mind about going was a closer look at the invitation. The girlfriend of Boyfriend's colleage had created the cutest invitations by drawing cartoon characters of herself and her boyfriend, with their two daschunds . The fact that they have two of those pooches was what did it for me. They are my absolute favourite breed of dog, and before I go out and get myself a puppy Ive been dying to spend some time with some to get an idea of their personalities, so it was a perfect opportunity to do so at the party. I joked around with Boyfriend that I had visions of myself spending pretty much the entire evening with these little dogs, but promised him that I wouldnt be completely unsociable.

As we arrived at the house, another car pulled up and Boyfriend reversed a bit so that he could ask the other driver where we were supposed to park. As we were parking outside the complex Boyfriend said, "Thats Peter, my Sales Manager".

On entering the house I decided that I wanted to show Boyfriend that I was more confident than he would expect me to be, so I took the initiative and walked up to everyone standing in a circle outside and introduced myself and shook their hands. I was doing pretty well, and even got involved in a conversation with them.

After some time I went inside and made conversation with the hostess. She was really nice, and we started talking about her two black and tan miniature pedigree daschunds. The female is pregnant and is due in two weeks time, so I was all broody over the little dogs and thinking about the puppies to be.

Anyway, the point is that I think I was making a pretty good impression and not coming across as shy and reserved as I usually am with people I dont know.

When I went back outside I saw that Boyfriend was chatting to a colleague of his whom he'd pointed out as someone he wanted to introduce to me. I went over and Boyfriend introduced me to him and his girlfriend. His name was Kurt. Peter was also standing there in the little conversation circle. I stood there for a bit and listened to the conversation, which was about Kurt and why he's chosen to go into the motor trade.

I then remembered Boyfriend telling me about Kurt and how he's worked in the tile industry for just over a year, but that he's very interested in cars, and has decided he's going to leave the tile company (where Boyfriend works) to work for a car sales place. He was talking about how he's been walking around handing out his CVs to all the car shops all over the place.

Anyway, Kurt was saying that he thinks its time to try something different after over a year in the tile industry, but that he values what he's learnt at the company.

Now, bear in mind that there were loads of people from Boyfriend's work at that party. Loads. I kick myself every time I play this over and over in my head.

I remember standing there waiting for a little break in the conversation so that I could say something. In my mind I thought I was contributing to the conversation. I thought Kurt would appreciate the question and that his answer would be valuable for Boyfriend since he loves the motor industry too.

Anyway, so when the perfect gap presented itself, I spoke up and said something to this effect:

"So Kurt, [Boyfriend] and I were actually talking about this the other day. How did you manage to work for over a year in the tile industry if you love cars so much? I mean, [Boyfriend] is passionate about cars, and tiles arent really his kind of thing, so why did you stay so long before deciding to get into the motor industry if you love cars just as much?"

There was this sort of stunned silence while people eyeballed each other nervously, wondering if they had indeed heard me correctly. I was mortified.

Only towards the end of what I was saying did I realise the terrible blunder that I'd just made, and noticed the look on Kurt and his girlfriends' face. I couldnt even look to my right where Peter was standing. Somehow "Sales Manager" didnt correspont to the word "Boss" in my head at the time of saying what I did, and it only clicked into place when it was far too late to stop. Even if he wasnt Boyfreind's boss, it still wasnt a wise thing to say in an environment where 75 to 80% of the people at the party work with Boyfriend, or are friends of people who work there.

I remember blushing furiously. Kurt made a good recovery by saying that sales is sales, no matter what industry you're in, and he'd learnt a hell of a lot at the tile company and would use that experience in any other sales jobs he might have, etc.

I tried desperately not to meet Boyfriend's panicked eyes, but when he managed successfully to jab me with his elbow, I quickly looked up into his eyes and gave him an "I KNOW!!" look with mine.

At that moment I very much wished I could leave right there and then and go home, but there I was, blushing furiously and trying desperately to avoid anyone's disbelieving gaze. I felt miserable.

After a moment of awkwardness while I tried to think of a reason to leave the little group, I was presented with one when I realised my drink was finished. I asked Boyfriend if he wanted another drink (even though his beer was still pretty full). He refused of course, and then thre I was, off in the blink of an eye. I was gone for a long, long time. I spent a lot of the night in the house with the dogs and chatting to the hostess. Eventually later on I spoke to Peter. Not about what had had heard that I work for a firm of attorneys and asking what the name of the firm was, etc.

I did try to make amends by mentioning that Boyfriend is really quite interested in buying properties, doing them up (bringing the whole tile and other decor stuff into it), and then selling them or renting them out for more than he would have charged without it being renovated.

I think I did okay in terms of convincing Peter that Boyfriend isnt just passionate about cars, but is also interested and believes in the products he's selling. I also hoped he found me interesting and friendly and a nice person, so that his good opinion of me might help him forget the huge blunder Id made earlier that night, and also so that he might not take my mistake out on Boyfriend. I was hoping he would realise that what I think and say (even if I didnt mean to say it) is not necessary what Boyfriend thinks, or how he feels.

I honestly kick myself so hard and so often when I think about it. I felt like crying on the way home. How could I be so stupid!!?! I could have ruined Boyfriend's career, now that he finally has a job after being out of one for 2 months. Even now we dont know what consequences my stupid remark has made on where he stands with his boss.

Apparently the next day Kurt said to Boyfriend, "I cant believe [your Girlfriend] actually said that. And with Peter right there!"

Boyfriend also told me that he felt extremely awkward at work the following Monday morning, imaging that everyone must think he's a fraud, pretending to be all interested in what he's doing just so he could get the job.

I've since relayed the story to two friends of mine who think its funny and that I shouldnt beat myself up about it. My mother feels the same, although she had a huge laugh about it, her being a Sagittarian herself.

I must admit though, that laughing about it did help me feel a hell of a lot better about it. I guess I just have to accept that its just part of my nature and all. ;)