It is hard work trying to stay conscious

I have finally realised why for the past two or three days I have been feeling incredibly tired. Why all I can think about is putting my head down on my desk and closing my eyes. Why, when I do close my eyes, I almost instantly start to drift off to la la land. Why its such an effort to drag myself out of my chair. I feel drained in every sense.

Initially I assumed that I was just lacking motivation and energy to work, knowing that its the last few days before work closes over the Christmas period. This assumption is possibly quite a big portion of why I feel this way as far as motivation goes. But its my energy that is sapped. Even as I write this I have taken to resting my head in my hands, or on my hands and closing my eyes.

But it seems that I must still have some energy left since it is taking so much effort to keep myself awake and lucid instead of curling up in a ball under my desk and passing out amongst bent paperclips, staples and the odd crumpled piece of paper that missed the rubbish bin. It is hard work even just sitting here and typing these words. My eyeballs skit around from one thing to another, never focusing, but merely trying to keep from closing.

So anyway, this is what I have found to be the culprit... I cannot say that I have been out partying every evening (although last night did involve two glasses of wine). My life is not so exciting that the weekend is not enough time for that kind of thing.

What I can say is that I am getting sick. Really and truly. And I can only hope that it will miraculously disappear by the time Friday rocks up because, well, spending 11 - 12 hours in a car on a long and boringly straight road while feeling like crap is not so much fun. Believe me, I've been there.

I woke up with my throat sore and tender, so that even mildly warm coffee felt like fire as it went down. My glands in my throat and neck are bulging and painful to the touch. Basically I feel like crap, crappity crap and all I can think of is how lovely it would be to curl up in bed and allow myself the relief of drifting off to sleep without that little voice in my head repeatedly urging myself to wake up and look lively because lets face it, clients wont appreciate being greeted by the sight of me slumped in my chair, mouth gaping with a runnel of saliva at the corner. It just wouldnt be pretty.

I dont know how Im going to get myself through the rest of this day, nevermind tomorrow and the next, but I can only try. Right now though, I cannot help but think "screw this whole work right up until Christmas idea! Whoever thought of it was just plain old stupid, didnt have a life, and must have been terribly lonely" etc.

Meanwhile though, Boss and family are on the beach somewhere in Hermanus, happily frolicking in waves and stretching out on the sand, soaking up the sun. He happily informed me of this when I phoned him with some work related question earlier. Isnt it nice that we are all still here keeping the place running in his absence. Delightful! Because we are all so motivated and serious about our jobs that we wouldnt dream of possibly being on the beach ourselves.

Okay, Ill stop being bitter. Its the sickness, I swear!